|
[06 Aug 2005|09:39pm] |
1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8) If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written
|
|
| The past.. |
[28 Jul 2005|04:13pm] |
|
I went on an adventre today...went to a place were I never thought I would ever end up again...my childhood...my big blue house..the Hermit..the Crazy lady across the street...The facless playmate in a dark old house...my toybox...my bedroom the long stairs that don't lead to heaven.. the backyard full of laughter.. The big tractor tire full of toads hoping to be free hopping around in panic..me looking over them observing the bizarre behavior of the green bumpy noisy toady's... Me playing god.. My older brother....the quiet one..watching me sit on the tractor tire so content...He walks over to me.." Kari, What are you doing? " I don't answer...Just..watching...after a minute I turned to him..Looked at him with curiousity..." Why ask such a stupid question?" ...He walks away with a sigh..I left the toady's in th tractor tire and walked up to my room...no noise in the house...ands erie silence..this house has always had an erie silence... I walk into my room as I enter the door creaks.. Sent shiver down my spine..I hated that. I walked over to my toy box..Slid open the little white square door to it..Looked at all the toys...the toys I had destroyed..The barbies had no heads..if they did there was no hair on it and has permanant marker doodled across the face...I hated them so they were part of my cruel exsperiments...The only toys that ever survived with me were my Teddy Bear...Mr.Froggy...and of course Mr.Ducky...they didn't look like fake happyness..they didn't have fake smiles sewn onto there faces...they were "Real"...I remember stealing my older brothers GI-Joe's and melting them with a lighter in the back yard...or going to the attic to the fireworks suplies with some duct tape..taking them to the helpless plastic toy who was suposively to have a life..so they show on the comercials..them fighting for our country..fighting evil...Well...why couldn't they fight me? I told my victim's to their face " You are nothing..I am God..Your life is now mine..No one can save you now..There is no heaven there is no hell only a dark hole in the ground were your cold lifeless plastic body shall lay for eternity.." Then I would tape a bottle rocket to him..Go put on my army helmet and go hide behind an old ragetty boxspring and say hte count down " 5..4..3...2..1.. SAY GOOD BYE MOTHER FUCKER!!" I would light the lighter and walk fastly to the destressed toy and light the rocket and run back to the box spring..with my puppy Shadow... SHe enjoyed watching the fireworks with me..I share everything with her...my cookies...as a little kid..I would sit on the front porch with her watching the sunset start to drown in the lake...I'd bite my cookie...and let her have a bite..then get another cookie..bite it..give her a bite..She was my big pillow...my best friend.. when I was sad she would give me kisses to tell me it's all right.. I'd latch onto her and cry she would lay her head on my shoulder as if she was hugging me back..She always made me laugh at night..I would lay my head on her tummy and hear the gurgling noises..that was also another thing that fasinated me...but the gurgling mixed with her snorring was the funnieest part..I would lay there with her and giggle quietly so I wouldn't wake her...The next day. me and Shadow went outside to check on the toady's...to my discovery...one was dead...I looked at it..I poked at it... I examined it... I walked into the house and got a knive...remembered a doctor show I once saw were they carfully made and insition straight down the body...so I did as I saw...I cut the toad open..I was in awe...no blood...just alien like organs...and the smell didn't smell horrible..."why is this?" I wondered..I gutted the animal...laid out every organ on a block of concrete..looked at it over and over again...how can so many things have a purpose in a tiny animal with no purpose at all? I looked at my doggy Shadow.. To see if she could explain the disappointment of the whole discovery..She said nothing..Just sitting there looking at me with her ears pinned back..I said "Don't give me that look...At least I'm curious as to how things work and not just eat sleep n shit like you." She shook her head as me as if she had more to teach me.. I continued examining my disovery..The decided no other questions could be answered... I walked into the house put the knive in the sink...walked to my room got an old shoe box...colored it black..got the duct tape and walked back outside...there was the carcass and the organs..I held the carcass in my hand belly up (sighed) " Mr. Toady I'm sorry but I can't fix you" Shoved his organs back into his body..some still hanging out of the insicion..looked like the stuffing of and old dolly of mine..except..I colored that stuffing red so it did look like her intestines..I just left Toady's how they were..I pucked some long grass..and found a cricket..put the cricket and grass in the smelly shoe box..sat the Toady's body in there on it's back.. " There Toady..your not alone..you have a good friend Mr. Cricket in there with you for good luck also company in yur own hell hole" closed the lid..duct taped it...grabbed a shovel...walked to the big oak tree that towered over me as big as a house.. started digging a big square hole by the tree roots..sat the box in gently covered it with dirt..said a few things " I'm sorry i couldn't help you Toady..you're a lost cause anyways..if you had a family..well..that sucks..see ya" The walked inside my house took a bath with Mr.Ducky..with Shadow sitting right beside the tub watching me with amusement..got out..changed clothes..went and watches cartoons..that was only few of my adventures and discoveries as a kid..
|
|
| Dirty attention seeking whore.. |
[27 Jul 2005|06:26pm] |
|
I miss you.. I miss the long talks on the phone, the teasing you.. showing you things you can't have.. I miss looking into your eyes..I miss the kisses and attention.. I miss your touches...the simple little dirty secrets that everyone knew because they were obvious..You wanted me I wanted you..it was bold written body language as they all stared wishing they had the love like we did.. Teasing you every hour of the day I could see it in your eyes you wanted me like nothing more..ANd I loved it.. I felt wanted..I felt loved..I felt used..Even after you dumped me for a cheeap skanky two cent whore I took you back..i knew I was just being used over and over again until you could have me the way you wanted it..so..you never got it..You were the mouse in my own little game of empowerment..you were at my mercy..I loved the way you touched me in public and I would return the favor and we would both giggle at the bulge in your pants..acting like no one could see when we were feeling each other up and rubbing against each other at the dances and at the school...this went on for 2 years..until that dreadful day...the day you were taken from me..gone to lock up all over a huge misunderstanding...some drinking..being stoned..and some people out to get you into some deep trouble..the people I warned you about..the people I told you not to do that around..now look what happend you got tooken away from what you loved...your behind bars.. I told you sooo many times..don't do that around them unless I'm around...I felt I was the only one to stop you from doing it...and I was right..you never listend to anyone else...just one day I left you with them I knew I would regret it.. Now I miss you soo much...the adoring attention you only gave me..You never looked at different girls the same..I seen it..my friends seen it..they actually thought me and you were going to get married..I told them no..and i'm sorry for hurting you..it's your own doing...did you exspect me to wait all this time for you to get outa lock up? For something that wasn't garenteed? for you the one who wrote your x dirty little letters whule the same time writing me letters saying you wanted to be with me forever? No..not happening..you did it too yourself..just because I moved schools didn't mean I was going to loose touch with your x or your family.. you screwed up..and I told you...You were not getting me back this time..it was over..I took you back repeatidly..I thought you could change..I was wrong.. so I geuss were both screwed in this situation huh? You never had me you never will..The letters stopped..the contact between your mom stopped..But I miss you...I miss the attetion..the look in your eyes.. the way I was yours.. now your out...but were are you now? Ha funny thing isn't it..I knew you just wanted me in bed and as soon as you found out I wasn't going to sleep with you all contact stopped...you wanted me forever huh? rriiggghhtt....did you expect me to believe that? I might be an attention seeking whore but atleast I'm not a real whore..I have self respect.
|
|
| Should start using this thing.. |
[26 Jul 2005|10:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 thoughtful |
] |
Hello. My name is Karisha! How are you? *shakes hands* ..O_o;;
If your reading this journal, you must be real fucking bored
Moving on.. I'm curious, weird, submissive, giggly, a little twisted in the head, childish sometimes, a flirt and shy. Also, I'm looking for a new master.
That about sums me up, I'll write more whenever I feel more inspired
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
dementedlilgirl's journal